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MEEEI: 心光集 · HeartLight
Hi, I’m Mei Yang — 杨梅, the host of this podcast.
I’m a cross-cultural family coach, systemic facilitator, and the founder of MEEEI, an initiative devoted to healing, connection, and transformation across generations.
For over 25 years, I’ve lived and worked between cultures. In the last few years of transitioning from business consultancy to coaching, I have supported hundreds of Chinese people and Chinese families. Through systemic coaching, family constellations, and heart-centered workshops, I help people reconnect with their roots, release inherited patterns, and create a more loving, conscious life for themselves and their children.
🌱 Why I Created This Podcast
So many of us carry invisible burdens—unspoken family stories, cultural expectations, emotional wounds passed down through generations. Yet, I believe healing is possible, and that when one person begins to grow, the whole family system begins to shift.
This podcast is a space for honest conversations, soulful reflections, and meaningful guidance — drawn from my life, my work, and my continuous path of learning.
Whether you’re a parent, a seeker, or simply someone navigating the complexities of cross-cultural identity, I invite you to walk this journey with me.
Thanks for listening！🧡
MEEEI: 心光集 · HeartLight
#57: 家排读书心得：如何疗愈代际创伤《这不是从你开始的》| Family Constellations Series · Book Reflection on It Didn’t Start With You — Healing Intergenerational Trauma
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
欢迎参加2026年的家庭系统排列工作坊：
📩 学员反馈和报名链接：https://hipsy.nl/meeei
今天这一集，我想带你走进一本书，也走进一个关于家庭、记忆和疗愈的世界。
这本书叫《It Didn't Start With You》，中文译名是《这不是从你开始的》。作者是Mark Wolynn，一位在家庭创伤领域深耕多年的心理治疗师和家排专家。
我想先问你一个问题：
你心里有没有一些反复出现的模式，怎么努力都摆脱不了？你明明不想发脾气，可是那个瞬间，情绪就像自己跑了出来。你明明很爱你的孩子，可是你说出口的话，恰恰是你小时候最不想听到的那一句。你明明很努力地活着，却总是不安，总觉得哪里不对，好像随时会发生不好的事情。
如果你也有过这样的感受，我想告诉你一句话：
它可能不是从你开始的，但是，疗愈可以从你开始。
这一集，你会听到什么：
1. 作者Mark Wolynn的真实故事
他亲身经历了一场深刻的疗愈旅程，最终发现，答案不在外面，而在回家与父母和解。
2. 表观遗传学，一个容易理解的切入点
创伤不仅仅停留在心理层面，它也可能在身体里留下痕迹，并影响下一代。这听起来有点神秘，但科学正在一点一点地证明它。
3. 核心语言地图Core Language Map的四个入口
第一个入口，是核心抱怨。你最常反复抱怨的是什么？那个抱怨背后，可能藏着一个更深的源头。
第二个入口，是核心形容词。想到父母的时候，你心里浮现的三个词是什么？
第三个入口，是核心句子。你内心深处那句挥之不去的话，那句总是在你低落的时候冒出来的话，是什么？
第四个入口，是核心创伤。失去、分离、贫穷、暴力、被排除、羞耻……这些词里，有没有哪一个让你感到熟悉？
4. 我自己的第一次家排经历
那一次，我坐在一个场域里，看见了妈妈和姐姐的代表呈现的情感。那一刻，彻底改变了我内心对人生的核心抱怨。
5. 两个真实来访案例
她们的故事，也许也是你的故事。
6. 一场针对专业男性高管的家排工作坊
在那个空间里，我看见强者背后的脆弱和眼泪，也对身边的男性产生了一种更深的理解和温柔。
如果你也准备好了，欢迎你和我一起走进这一集。也许你会发现，你一直以为属于自己的那些困惑和痛苦，并不完全属于你。也许，它们早已在那里，等待被你看见。
Today, I would like to take you into a book, and also into a world of family, memory, and healing.
The book is called It Didn’t Start With You. The Chinese title is This Did Not Begin With You. Its author is Mark Wolynn, a psychotherapist and family constellation expert who has worked deeply in the field of inherited family trauma for many years.
I would like to begin with a question.
Do you have certain patterns inside you that keep repeating, no matter how hard you try to break free from them? You clearly do not want to lose your temper, yet in that moment, the emotion seems to rush out on its own. You deeply love your child, yet the words that come out of your mouth are exactly the words you least wanted to hear when you were little. You are trying so hard to live your life well, yet you often feel unsettled, as if something is not quite right, as if something bad could happen at any moment.
If you have ever felt this way, I want to offer you one sentence:
It may not have started with you, but healing can start with you.
In this episode, you will hear:
- Mark Wolynn’s personal story
He went through a profound healing journey himself, and eventually discovered that the answer was not outside him, but in returning home and reconciling with his parents. - Epigenetics as an accessible entry point
Trauma does not only remain on the psychological level. It may also leave traces in the body and influence the next generation. This may sound mysterious, but science is gradually beginning to show us more. - The four entry points of the Core Language Map
The first entry point is your core complaint. What do you find yourself complaining about again and again? Behind that complaint, there may be a deeper source.
The second entry point is your core descriptors. When you think of your parents, what are the three words that arise in your heart?
The third entry point is your core sentence. What is that sentence deep inside you that never seems to leave? The sentence that often appears when you feel low?
The fourth entry point is your core trauma. Loss, separation, poverty, violence, exclusion, shame... among these words, is there one that feels strangely familiar to you?
- My own first experience with family constellations
That time, I sat in a field and witnessed the emotions presented by the representatives of my mother and my sister. In that moment, something in me changed completely, especially around one of my deepest complaints about life. - Two real client stories
Their stories may also carry echoes of your own. - A family constellation workshop for professional male executives
In that space, I saw the vulnerability and tears behind strong men. It also gave me a deeper understanding and tenderness toward the men around me.
If you are ready, I warmly invite you to step into this episode with me. Perhaps you will discover that some of the confusion and pain you always thought belonged only to you may not belong entirely to you. Perhaps they have been there for a long time, quietly waiting to be seen.